Monogamy is deeply rooted in our society for centuries and probably imprinted in our DNA too. We see people fret and frown when we talk anything other than the so called “normal” and what is socially accepted. The are quick to deep it as a moral sin. Polyamory is one such concept of relationship.
Classification of love
We all experience love in some kind in our everyday lives and have since the day we were born. Love is a two way street. Not only have we received love, we also have the need to express love. While growing up we have loved and (and been loved by) our parents, brothers, sisters, friends and even pets. However, when we grow older, we experience a new, intense feeling, unlike any of other that we experienced before. It is a romantic kind of love. It is different! It’s natural to develop romantic feelings and sexual attraction towards others. After all, the ultimate purpose of any living being is to reproduce to prevent extinction.
What is Polyamory?
Polyamory — From Greek, poly means many and Latin, amor means love, is to have intimate relationship with multiple partners with the knowledge of all partners. When the time comes to introduce the new partner to the group, it’s done with the consent of others. The larger the group, the more consent is needed to bring in new partners.
Polyandry is not the same as an open relationship since in an open relationship there lies no obligation of consent.
Decapsulation of love
Imagine meeting a perfect person, perfect as per your standards, fall in love (which is just another four letter word for lust), get married (or not, that’s strictly your choice) and spend your life with that person and his/her other life partners. “WAIT!!! WHAT?” That will be the reaction of most people. On the other hand, if you look deeper into it, this kind of relationship is as normal as any other. Some might wonder how it is even possible or wouldn’t it amount to cheating on your partner?
Bright side of Polyamorous Relationships
Many married couple, from time to time, seek help of a counsellor as they complain of the missing spark. Of course! if we get to eat our most favourite cuisine every day, we will lose interest in it eventually. That is one of the biggest reasons why most of the married couple cheat on their parters. It is something we all want but don’t want to talk about it. However, in a polyamory, you would never cheat on your partner. Instead, you will all be aware of everything the other is doing and open-mindedly accept it. It would definitely add ample spice to your relationship.
Polyamorous relationships can be sexual and also platonic. It entirely depends on the individual.
Not so bright side of Polyamorous Relationships
Just like every coin has two sides and every mirror two faces, Polyamory is not an exception. There are definitely ample advantages of polyamory, however, there are some disadvantages too. There are many happy and healthy polyamorous relationships that have been wonderfully working out for years. But at the same time, there are many that don’t work out. As it is said, polyamory is not for the jealous minds or those who can’t free themselves from the social conditioning.
Sometimes, people are stuck in between the binds of social conditioning and freedom of expression. They just want to experiment and see if things work out. Various factors could be responsible for a failed polyamorous relationship. Lack of patience, commitment, honesty, possessiveness etc. could be a few of the numerous reasons. In the beginning, in the exciting period, we could be in a la-la land, but if one goes against the very basic concept of poly ‘amor’ and gets a little too attached with one, it gives the new beginning to an end.
I am not an expert in the relationship matters, but if you ask my honest opinion, I would suggest that be it a monogamous, polygamous, polyandrous or a polyamorous relationship, it should be a person’s right to choose and not something that is imposed on them.The world should not be the one to decide their fate.
Edited by: Himesh Saraf